Tame the Tongue
James 3:5 compares the tongue to a ship's rudder or the bit places in a horse's mouth. Those items are used to control a ship and a large land animal. Our tongues also guide us and should be used with caution. Verses 7-8 tell us that every beast can be tamed, but no one can tame the tongue. We use our tongue on a contradictory basis to bless God and curse others made in the likeness of God (James 3:9). These things should not happen as they do not exemplify what it is to be a Christ follower.
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It Cannot Be Unsaid or Unheard
I remember being in a men's group at Saddleback Church a couple of years ago and discussing how saying mean or hurtful things is just like squeezing toothpaste out of a tube. Once it comes out, it cannot go back in. The damage has already begun to take place. "I'm sorry" doesn't take the words back or make it so it never even happened. Another way to think about this too is what we type/text to people. Once they have read it, it cannot be unread. The eyes have already taken those words in. We need to be more mindful of what we say to people (and type) so that our words are coming from a place of love and not from anger that could lead us to regret them later.
If you have read through Proverbs, you have seen a ton of verses that could easily be used as daily reminders for self control. One of those verses is Proverbs 12:18. It compares our words to swords which cut deeply and or tongues (if used by the wise) as a source that can bring healing. Do we really want to be known as the type of person who uses harsh and rash words that just cut at people all the time? Or would you rather be known as someone who is looked at as one who brings healing with their words? I would rather be the latter rather than the former as I seek to do what is pleasing to God, not people. It might be very easy to do what others expect or would do in your shoes, but they don't have to deal with the consequences of your words, but you do. So instead of doing what you may feel pressured to do by people and expected social norms, do what you feel led to do by God.
And sometimes we can get caught up and say that we are just being honest or just speaking the truth. But, is the truth and honesty rooted in helping someone with love that builds them up? In Ephesians 4:29 we are given a reminder to not give into any unwholesome talk and let what comes out of our mouths be what builds others up. What we say needs to be helpful. Not helpful for doing what we want them to do, but what God would want them to do. It also needs to be for their benefit and for those who hear it.
In Psalm 19:14 we look at the source from where our words should come. As stated previously is it what is it just that it is socially normal to speak that way or does it need to come from God's will. The focus of the verse is on the words and the heart being acceptable to God. He is where we look for our guidance as to what we should be saying and what we let come out from our hearts. Once it is said it cannot be unsaid, so make sure before you say it that it is pleasing to God.
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Why Are We Arguing?
Have you ever been in an argument? Do you get into arguments on a regular basis? Why even argue? Is it necessary? There is a point when a conversation turns from talking to arguing.
There is a lot of pride that goes into arguments. People want to be heard and understood on one hand and on the other hand, they want you to agree with them. If you don't agree with them then they disrespect your opinion and position even if it is only an opinion. In Proverbs 15:28 we read that the righteous ponder on how to answer questions while the wicked person's mouth just lets things pour out.
Jesus says in Matthew 15:19 that out of the heart comes evil thoughts and slander. There should be a heart check if we are in an argument? Why do you need someone to agree with you so much? Why does it matter what they think or what their view is? It is okay to disagree. Isn't it.
We have to turn away arguments with soft answers and that do not stir up more angry responses. Proverbs 15:1 gives us that insight. Who wants to argue with someone who doesn't want to argue? It is not an argument if the other person is not arguing.
And lastly, in James 1:19, we are taught to be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to become angry. If we really take time to listen and even inquire for more information and clarification we might become less angry because we have gotten then answer we needed to understand the other person. When we are slow to speak that means we are still listening and not interrupting someone. And when we are not angry we are less subjected to not being Christ-like in these situations. Being Christ-like is our goal.
source utilized: Bibleinfo.com
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